question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize