piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
