Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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