No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
