just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
