Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
