smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
