This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize