ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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