I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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