I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
