youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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