Are we in a gay sports bar?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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