Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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