I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
