I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
