I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
