the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
