i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
