Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
