I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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