so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
