you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
