Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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