I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize