Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
