my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
