Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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