I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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