I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
