you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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