It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
