i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
