What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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