Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found puke in my bra..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
