Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
