I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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