Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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