Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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