Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
