So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
