She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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