Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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