I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
