Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
