Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
