..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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