we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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