I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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