yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
