So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
