fuck your aforementioned shoe
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
