so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
