All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
