Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am puke
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
