Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
