covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
