I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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