She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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