it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
