Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
