Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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