Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
