You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
