Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
