He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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