I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
