it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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