Me too!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
