Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
