I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
