they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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