so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize