Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize