i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
